(Un)flagging Devotion

I am so careful with the word “marriage.” It is not because I am afraid with a marriage. The fact is that there would be many devotions after marriage. Although I am currently having a long relationship with someone. I never set any plans to become his wife until I am ready and the best time is coming.

Many friends of mine have already entered to the marriage gate. However, I am not ready! I am pretty sure the right one will come and I will say “Yes, I do.” This does not mean I am not sure with my current spouse, yet the situation still does not say so. I feel like both of us still need some more periods to make ourselves maturer.

More importantly, I want to settle myself and career first. My family experience taught me to not be careless in set any decisions about marriage. “Maturity” is the key to open the marriage gate under my opinion. Yes, it is. Once I say a YES, it means unflagging devotions for the rest of my life on my new family. Without any maturity, marriage will easily be ruined out as clear visions seem to not take place yet. There is no perfect spouse, but the thing is that there is indeed the fittest spouse for every woman in this world. So, please do not be careless in going through a marriage, and have some fun of yourself and with your family.

Groningen, April 25, 2012,

Michelle Kristy

How much I am proud of you, Dad!

Groningen, March 6, 2012,

I would always remember the moment when my Dad sincerely congratulated my achievement of being able to be top ten students in the fourth year of the elementary school. The first moment I was able to get top ten students in my class. I was quite happy. He also said that this achievement can still be pomp up to be the better one in the future. I innocently kept that message on my mind.

Since that moment onward, I kept studying and got my scores better until the moment I got accepted at the best high school in Indonesia, etc. I always adore my Dad. He is the one who always made me calm and think patiently on all problems hampered me, even the one who made me feel at the lowest point of my life. I always believe that hopes do exist when we believe them. My Dad is the one who made me keep strong and stand straightly after I fall down.

I do not come from a rich family. I deeply knew how hard my parents look for money. Simply saying, I know and really understand where I come from. Yes, life is not easy! Even until now, I won’t ever hope to get a chance to become LL.M. without being granted a scholarship. Now I am here at Groningen, The Netherlands striving for my future life!

Over there, my Dad strives for getting a success on a small business he constructed with his friends in a small town in Indonesia. The office where he devoted half of his life was closed. I knew his feelings and depression of losing something he has already owned for such a long time. I can feel it even from afar. He gets old already (almost reach 50 years old) and his health condition is not pretty good. But, he successfully made a stand and try to still being responsible for his family, for funding his wife and children. My Dad is an honest person, he is good, and always the best one for me. His figure is so adorable in my eyes. I just feel life is unfair, why he still has to start (accompanied with his bad healthy condition) something in his old ages and obtain uncertainty.

I feel so sad, but being strongly pushed to step up and up. I want to directly get to my career and secure my Dad and also my family. If it is possible, I want to let my dad stop working and just enjoy his life. I keep praying to be able to get a great job where I can fund my family as replacing my Dad position. I really want to.

In this night, I made a promise to myself to keep my strong persistence in my last six months of my master study. I also pray to God to give strength and also successes to my Dad. As above-mentioned, hopes do exist. I will devote all my efforts especially for him. Although you are now at afar, I can feel you here beside me, put your smile and says: hopes do exist, nothing is impossible, there must be a way.

I am so proud of you Dad, thank you for always reminding me that hopes do exist and bringing me to where I am now (the possibility and hopes).

Warm Hugs,
Michelle Kristy

Thesis and Life after Master Study

Groningen, 22 February 2012

I feel so tired lately, both physically and mentally. It has already been 6 months since my arrival day to this student city, but well again, this is not easy. I have devoted my effort and time. Still, I got success passing through all exams in the first chance, but I got one 6 for company law (and this is trully my big fault since I was afraid to take the second chance). This would not be a matter for some people, but yes a matter for me. Well, the positive thing is that I do not eat grades, and moreover it is just an EU company law.

Apart from that, I jump to the thesis stuffs now. Again, I will be dealing with an Indonesian case called the clove cigarette case. I am confronted with two big major concerns of this case. These stuffs captured my minds a lot. At the end, it must be handed over before June. I keep saying inside of my heart, “God, please always be here with me.”

After that, the biggest concern is a career after this year. I said this is the hardest thing, because this is what would determine your success. Within six months, you must necessarily know to which directions you must bring yourself. I honestly feel that I don’t wanna back to Indonesia, at least for three years ahead. I hope I could get a good shelter here in Europe. I have to survive my life with or without Dandi besides me. It is gonna be really hard period of time in my life, but if I don’t have a try, I will regret to not have a try.

Perhaps I will be ended in a office desk as a lawyer. Yes, it is my passion besides being a periodical lecturer. I also have a very big dream for local traders of Indonesia. Just wait and see about what I am going to create for them. I do hope my capacity would suffice for stepping up an international career.

I do not wanna back yet to Indonesia, hope I will get a good seat here in Europe, just for at least 3 years!

Cheers from an under-pressure lady from the North Netherlands,

Michelle Kristy

Valentine’s day at afar!

Happy Valentine’s day!

 

Although I am parts of people who opts to not make a celebration of a Valentine’s day, I personally think that this day is dedicated as a symbol that love exists eternally. Love can be a power which could generate our goals in life. During my life from afar, I would just say that somehow being afar could enhance your love quality to someone you have not seen for such long periods. Your longing can make you realize on how you do love the one whose presence is unreachable.

 

I devote this Valentine’s day for my parents and siblings. We are in such difficult position now, but I believe these problems exist for something positive in the near future. You are the reason of the whole efforts I deliver to what surrounds me nowadays.

 

Much love from the North part of The Netherlands,

Michelle Kristy

Holland will be coming in two weeks!

Jakarta, August 09, 2011

It is absolutely true to say that finally my four-year-ago dream comes true in two weeks from now! A country where I always image form day to day during four and a half years of my bachelor study. It is of course a long-convoluted way and definitely not simple, though it palpably seems so simple.

I reminisce the period when I ripped an academic building picture of University of Groningen and put it on my wall, I always wished afterwards to be able to master my study on that university. I deeply realized that I would not be able to realize my dream without having a scholarship. Then by observing some possibly scholarships, I finally appointed Huygens Scholarship Programme as the source who will fully support my master in Groningen.

I have looked the requirements long before the exact period where I finally submitted my application. I am not a perfectionist and I know my limitations. However, in this case, dream was apparently able to direct me otherwise. I kept enforcing myself that hard to reach my own GPA as high as possible. An obvious example of this was my ability to only close my eyes for half an hour and keep my concentration on hundred of materials I had to study for my examinations.

Aside from that, I kept enforcing myself to not waste my time, even my leisure time, to activities which are not significant to support my academic developments. I actively joined related organizations, and with my bravery, I established both association and academic activities which are still sustainable until now. At that moment, I do not really make a care of what people might say about me. In my mind, as long as it is good for me and moreover for encouraging people to be better, I would just confidently examined.

YOGYAKARTA had also played a big, even huge, role in realizing my big dream -getting a master study in University of Groningen with the HSP scholarship-. The city is indeed the most comfortable city to live in, as well as to study. As far as I lived in the city, I could easily in touch with some extreme activities in a day, accomplished my daily list-to-do efficiently, cheaply got alive with so many cheap food and beverages, and so forth. This city taught me how to appreciate a simplicity. My thoughts and behaviors had been successfully shaped by a combination of both modern and traditional perspectives. Apart from that, my independence and belief had also been well-structured in this city. Frankly speaking, without having a long-period-of-stay in this city, I would not be able to ensure my mind and made a self-suggestion that my dream to get Holland after being graduated from my bachelor study was realistic.

Being consistent was not easy but it was a must for me. I faithfully hold my dream and always believed that in His way nothing is impossible. I prayed a lot until I was pretty sure that the universe knew and would consistently help me to realize this dream. I got my processes went so smooth and many people sincerely supported my endeavors to complete pieces of “study in Holland” puzzle.

I am now at the moment where I finally pursued my dream. I was indeed nobody but my faith could act more that somebody who comes from somewhere unreachable. Being granted a scholarship right after being graduated to continue my master study at the university I dreamed since the beginning of my bachelor study is now in front of my eyes. I have now no words except gratefulness to God who made this comes true throughout my life, my reality.

From this experience, we could actually derive that setting a high dream is compulsory, being committed to contribute our best endeavors for realizing our dream is optional. All is in yourself and of course under the permission of God.

Give thanks to God for making this impossibility be a reality, Holland will be coming in two weeks!

Michelle Ayu Chinta Kristy

(Un)Finished Doubt

Somehow, you need to neither know everything nor have suspicion. Since I was a little child, I have found many lies appeared in front of my eyes. I found many contraries where truth has become more expensive that it supposes to be. I do not like of being fabricated.

When I got my first serious boy friend, he had showered me with many lies. It hampered my heart and made me being traumatic with the word “LIE.”

I honestly feel blessed that I got a very strong feeling, and a good logic which brought me to almost-know everything which is incorrect. This beyond-than-normal ability directed me to have a high suspicious rate. Most likely, I have a correct suspicion in valuing either a lie is apparently a lie or not.

Lately, I got one of my closest people covered something behind me. Again and again, in front of my eyes, an untruthfulness has been accidentally discovered. This traumatic occurrence made me realized that although I am deeply sure about the fabrication, yet I couldn’t even make any evidences in order to prove that my doubt is correct. Things such as ethic and politeness are perhaps my main barriers in throwing my doubts away.

Honestly, it is an unstoppable trauma. Being apathetic is perhaps the only cure finishing my doubt on a disguised lie.

There is no despair when you learned a language

As far as I concern with my life dynamics, there were so many colorful moments I have just passed in my life. There were so many lucks which brought me to where I am today. I might say there were lucks, but if we go further there weren’t. Luck will only appear when the best preparation has been excecuted.

Every single thing must have its beginning, and more importantly, there wouldn’t be a failure of mastering every matter we are about to once clear vision, hard work, and a good management are on your hand. Within this writing, I just wanna show you how anything would be possible when you trust yourself that it is possible. Why could it be so? It is simply because we are actually the one who generates any actions and manages an impossibility to be a possibility.

There is a simple example which I take from my personal experience in learing English. After returning from my exchange student, I was not able to speak with excellent english (although my current english is not that excellent actually) due to the huge influence of Dutch which always messed the way I speak English. Being realized about the important of using English, I commenced to learn English by using the way I learned Dutch. I made a simple dictironary which I created by myself. Once I found a new vocabulary, I subsequently wrote it down. Then I realized that language was about the more you understand it by knowing its vocabularies.

Besides, braveness and confidence were my faith companions while improving my english capacity. I do believe if we want to improve something we have to dip down ourselves in any activities related with the one we want to master it. I set all my activities as close as possible with the ones who conducted in English. I confidently applied what I had learned by engaging myself to some activities which demanded me to rehearse my English. I concluded then that language was about practices. The more you practice and use the language the better and more confident you will youe the language. Do not ever feeling insecure with those whose english are excellent. Just be confident since everybody has their own time where they just start to advance the language.

Frankly speaking, language is an art for me. Learning language is totally not a burden, yet a challenge. You will more enjoy it after you master it. You have to learn it as soon as possible and enjoy it. In the upcoming decade, English will be an obligation which you will be commited to master it, since English will be the key to open the door of both seeing and comprehending the world in the globalization era.

Good luck!